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First-grader Jesiyah confidently marched into the school library and asked, “Where’s my lunch buddy?” 

The rest of the kids skipped in right behind him, grabbed Legos or coloring books, and settled in to wait for their new friends to arrive.  

At Stanley Elementary, first-graders are matched with adults who serve as mentors – or lunch buddies – with the hope that the connection they develop will serve kids well in the short-term and long-term. 

The Lunch Buddies program, part of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound (BBBS), is a program through which kids can build social skills and learn to advocate for themselves. Students and adult volunteers are matched into pairs for the school year. They meet twice a month for lunch at school, where they talk and play games before heading out for recess together.  

Bigs and Littles 
After the mentors arrived on a recent Tuesday, the pairs walked to the school cafeteria to pick up lunch. Some “littles” reached out to hold the hand of their “big” as they made their way through the halls. There was a lot of chatter, some silly faces and some shy ones.  

By the time they made it back to the library to eat, conversations were in full swing. Hot topics: dinosaurs, Pikachu, pets, broccoli is no good.  

Even at 6 or 7 years old, forming a relationship with a mentor can be valuable.   

“The earlier in life a young person is connected with a mentor, the bigger the opportunity for net impact,” said Jennifer Haberman of Big Brothers Big Sisters. “At first grade, they’re in this very early stage where building relationships happens in a more organic way than when they are older. When you make the connection early, you’re creating your relationship-building muscle.” 

If the relationship continues, mentors and mentees can experience different stages of life together, relying on each other for different perspectives and advice. 

That was the case for “big” Dennis Quinn, who has already mentored two children through Big Brothers Big Sisters, starting at ages 7 and 11. He developed deep connections in both cases, mentoring them for years and ultimately serving important roles in their adult lives. 

Now, he’s lunch buddies with his “little,” Jesiyah, who greeted Quinn with a hug and challenged him to try the broccoli. As Jesiyah flitted from table to table, Quinn encouraged him to sit down so they could talk.  

“I’d like to help him with boundaries and being able to focus,” Quinn said. “He’s a really sweet kid. He’s very similar to my second ‘little brother,’ but about 1,000 times more energy!”  

Getting to know each other 
One of the values of children having mentors is the opportunity to connect with someone who’s not a family member or a teacher. There’s no expectation or performance – it’s about forming a relationship purely for the sake of the relationship.  

“Mentors occupy a really different space,” Haberman said. “They don’t have any power over the young person. And if kids can have this other safe person in their life who they know and trust, that’s a really powerful thing.” 

Brady Bekker, a new “big” to his lunch buddy Constancio, is learning how to be a mentor by paying attention to the queues the quiet first-grader provides. 

“I’m just interested in him and hearing about his life. I ask him a lot of questions,” Bekker said. “I think he’s opening up and getting more comfortable talking. Helping him feel important and  learning to have conversations are my goals with him.” 

Stanley principal Jim Ball said the recipe is pretty simple  - having caring, positive adults to talk and play with goes a long way with kids.  

“All it takes is spending some time talking to a kid to make a difference. As long as it’s genuine,” Ball said. “They like having someone to have a conversation and a laugh with.” 

Interested in volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters? Learn more about volunteer opportunities